We've been on the road for two months now, and considering it is the season to reflect on what we're thankful for we figured we'd stretch the mental exercise to what we've learned so far on the road as well. Below you'll find some of the things that we felt met our expectations, and others that we learned the hard way on the road. You'll find the insights gained, things we wish we had done differently, and things we wouldn't change. You'll read the ugly bits of the trip that don't show in our Instagram and Facebook posts, and how we plan on living those lessons learned. Chelsea:
What is one thing you didn't expect to be a part of this trip?
Lack of space. Not in the truck, we've had plenty of space for our things and for sleeping. What I mean is in the world. In our post about homelessness, we talked a little bit about what homelessness is in regards to having a space you can't be asked to leave from. I didn't expect there to be this looming feeling that at any moment I could be asked to leave, and at certain times we have been asked to leave or it has been made absolutely clear we weren't allowed to be somewhere. At times we stop to sleep, exhausted and unable to keep driving, somewhere where we are almost certain we will wake to someone rapping on our window in the middle of the night. It manifests in little ways too. Like when it's raining and Corbin and I are in need of some time apart but the weather is too foul of one of us to stay with the truck and the other to go outside somewhere. Or spending half an hour to find parking for the truck. I certainly didn't expect that desire for space, personal space, to manifest in such permeating ways.
What is one thing you're glad you prepared for?
I'm so thankful that we prepared the truck set up the way we did. We could have left ourselves much less sleeping space and more packing space but we would have been sore when sleeping and getting ready in the bed of the truck on raining mornings. We were met with so much rain the first couple of weeks that we spent quite a bit of time in the truck and the set up is more ideal than the alternatives that we had envisioned when it came to trying our damnedest to stay dry.
What is one thing that you wish you had prepared more for?
Speaking of the rain... we did not prepare enough for it. We had put some extra weather stripping on the tailgate which certainly helped keep our bed area dry, but I wish we had thought of a rainfly for the tailgate area to help keep us dry while getting dressed or cooking on the tailgate, in addition to more weatherproofing for the underside of the tailgate where water splashes up from driving on the road.
What is one thing that you expected to be a bigger issue that wasn't?
I think we anticipated wanting to eat out more than we did at home while we were on the road, just for convenience sake but that hasn't really been the case. We very rarely stop for fast food and grocery stops have become one of our favorite pastimes. I guess not having a cooler made us think we wouldn't be able to have as much food with us in the truck, but really it only limits our dairy and meat consumption, so it hasn't been too bad.
What's been the hardest part of life on the road?
I think for me it's been the juggle of wanting to be on vacation and the work involved with constantly planning the next leg of the trip. We had our West Coast itinerary pretty much hashed out before we left Colorado, and once that initial itinerary was completed, we then had to begin to coordinate with people we wanted to visit with minimal cell service, internet, or free time, it became very difficult to keep up the schedule and reschedule as plans morphed with time. Planning is something I love doing, but it's definitely been the most difficult part so far.
What's been the best part of life on the road?
Being able to see so many amazing places that I've only drooled over on a computer screen. And we haven't even scratched the surface. In fact we had to pass up on a huge number of those that we wanted to visit. Being able to see in first person the vastness that is even just the West Coast and the never ending list of attractions and wonders has been incredible. Beyond that, pushing ourselves to acknowledge many of the things that "domestic" life allows us to sweep under the rug. It's not been fun, but I think the lessons and experiences that we're gaining have been and will likely continue to be the best part.
What do you wish you had done differently?
I wish we had taken, and given ourselves, more time. I want to do things the most efficient way manageable, and sometimes I accidentally put too much on our plate causing us to often run behind schedule or more often than not, running on fumes but on schedule. This over-scheduling of our first leg took a lot out of us not just physically, covering a couple thousand miles over the course of a month, but also emotionally and mentally. It gets a little hard to be completely present where you are when you're already preparing for the next stop.
What would you do the same?
I think that the best thing we've done is when planning our stops, for the most part, we alternate cities with forests, and I think we'll definitely keep on doing that as we keep going. It's been wonderful to be able to juxtapose the modernity and humanity of the cities our loved ones live in with the vastness and wildness that nature forces us to acknowledge. I don't think we'd get the time and space and mentality needed to process the things we see and experience on this trip, if we hadn't gotten into the woods. In the same vein, I think we appreciate the outdoors much more when we take a trip into the city.
What moment made you the happiest so far?
Happiest? When I didn't fall of a cliff and break my knee. Our parents and grandparents and loved ones are reading this, and when Corbin and I get ourselves into tricky or dangerous situations, we try not to shine too much of a light on it for fear of worrying them. But while we were in Yosemite we got off trail through some thorny bushes that were well overhead. In order to escape them we ended up traversing a cliff on the side of some steep sloping rocks in order to get to flat thorny bush-less ground. I took the lead and my foot slipped on a wet piece of bark, sending me knee first into the cliff wall. I was almost certain I had broken my patella or something, but it turned out only mildly bruised and scratched. It was lucky I didn't hurt myself more or fall into more trouble. But don't worry mom, we're safe, I swear! But in all honesty there have been so many happy moments during this trip. I think tied for first would also be taking a slow morning cooking breakfast on the banks of a river in Redwoods Nat'l Forest while drinking coffee and journaling. Nothing brings me clarity as much as writing and being out of doors and it's always a happy moment when I combine the two.
Saddest?
There have been plenty of sad moments on this trip, like waking up to the 10th consecutive day of rain. Or screaming at nothing in the desert out of anger and frustration. It's not all pretty, we just prefer to share the best bits with the internet. I can't pick a saddest, but one moment that sticks out right now as rather sad was when we were leaving Yosemite. After several days without cell service and a hellish voting by mail experience in California, we returned to civilization the day after Election Day to presidential results that had me with a knot in my stomach. Being jobless means that we've obtained our healthcare through the ACA marketplace, something our president-elect wants to eradicate. I have reproductive health issues that could worsen if national women's health rights follow the ideals of our vice-president elect. And, last but not least, we live outside and climate change is a pretty big deal when you live outside, like us and well, you too. It was a terrifyingly ominous reality to come back to.
Where did you have a profound thought? What was it?
We were on the side of the road just outside of Joshua Tree National Park, in the Sheephole Valley Wilderness making a sad meal of gas station sausage and hotdog buns. But once we put out the fire the stars above were glorious. I've seen some beautiful stars in Colorado and the surrounding area, but with how wide open the sky was and how much space the Milky Way took up of the sky, I couldn't help but think how much more night sky people need. To slow things down. To remember how small we are. To let go of some of our self-importance. To be thankful. Suddenly, my not so appetizing gas station sausage didn't seem so bad.
How have you not killed each other yet?
We've come close a handful of times. I won't tell you that we're happy all of the time we're together and that we never get on each others nerves. That would be a lie. This trip has tested and re-tested our relationship in ways we couldn't have imagined, and to be vulnerable, in ways that at time I didn't think we'd survive. The best ways that we've found to not murder each other is to take a breath and talk it over. Not just say what you think over and over again. Really talk and listen with the intention of understanding and being understood. If there is one "trick" I could share its repeating back to your partner what you've understood their grievance to be before moving on to what you think or feel. Acknowledgement goes a long way. So does an apology, even if you don't want to.
Corbin:
What is one thing you didn't expect to be a part of this trip?
I did not ever expect to feel pent up for any reason. In every fantasy I had about life on the road, I figured if I wanted something I'd just reach out and take it. I imagined if I wanted to be moving, I'd just lace my boots or step on the gas. If I wanted to play, I'd just turn a cartwheel and click my heels. I would be FREE! Yes, free from the daily routine, but not free from the laws of nature. It still rains, it still gets dark and cold, it still takes time to move from place to place. I'm still human, I still get hurt, I still have to do my chores and wipe my own... glasses. And all that takes time and effort. It might sound stupid but I sort of imagined this new life as total unlimited opportunity, but I never prepared for the fact that one choice excludes another.
What is one thing you're glad you prepared for?
Weather of all sorts, losing gear, and being physically exhausted.
Being cold and sometimes also wet still sucks, but it would suck so incredibly worse if we didn't have the right clothes, the right rig, and the right truck for the job. I've lost a few things already. Sometimes temporarily, sometimes gone forever. Luckily I brought 3 of everything I really really need, especially the small slippery things that tend to jump ship like gloves, glasses, etc. And finally exhaustion. As a former long distance runner and lifelong outdoorsman, most of the best times I've ever had have gone hand in hand with physical weariness and fatigue. Now, whether its driving for hours, or packing up a mountain, or just getting up and cooking breakfast when I really rather not, I was ready to push myself and I'm so glad it's paid off.
What is one thing that you wish you had prepared more for?
Being mentally exhausted.
Breaking a bad habit. Smiling when I absolutely do not feel like it. Taking a deep breath and saying "I'm sorry" and truly meaning it. Patiently finding the words to explain myself to friends, hosts, strangers and most importantly, Chelsea. Staying calm in a multitude of millions crushed into a few square miles of concrete. Reaching out and trying to forge a meaningful connection with another human being. Really, seriously, breaking that bad habit for good and then four more. These things all take a titanic mental effort for me sometimes. I was not adequately prepared.
What is one thing that you expected to be a bigger issue that wasn't?
Space. I thought we'd either be up to our eyeballs in gear we couldn't part with or wishing for things we had to cut out of the packlist. As it is we've had plenty of room, and nearly everything has its place.
What's been the hardest part of life on the road?
We don't really have any kind of recurring schedule, which is a massively reassuring part of normal life that I definitely took for granted. Think of it this way: It's Friday night, what should you be doing? Probably chilling right? Work is over, and if it's not it can wait a day or two. Now it's Sunday afternoon. Time to gear up and do your chores yeah? With our current life, there's no sense of what I "should" be doing. This can lead to stress and anxiety or to hedonism and sloth, or more often, bouncing back and forth between the two.
What's been the best part of life on the road?
Realizing every day that everything my life is at the moment and every sensation I'm feeling at any given time is 100% due to my own agency and decisions I've made. Even if it's not conscious effort and planning on my part, but due to accident or error, every situation I'm in, every experience I have, is due to my own choices. I'm the pilot of my own little meat machine, and my body drives this truck and walks this earth where I dictate. Again, I stress that this is as often straight into shitty situations and heartbreak as it is to paradise, but it's my path every time, for better or worse.
What do you wish you had done differently?
I wish I had prepared myself more for the trip. I thought I had my affairs in order, just because I had my bags packed and the checkbook balanced. I truly had no idea what I was getting myself into, in the whole violently tearing through life towards a major life crossroads, sense. I thought the two "homeless" months we spent in Fort Collins were warm-up levels one and two of our new life on the road game. In fact, it was the loading screen. The blank brainless moment you spend staring at nothing before the game even starts.
What would you do the same?
Hardest question so far. Almost nothing. I wouldn't give up If I had to do it all again, just like I'm not giving up now.
What moment made you the saddest so far?
Sitting on an empty stretch of train tracks along route 66. In that moment I was nearly certain that my life with Chelsea was over. I was hopeless and terrified what the coming days and months would bring.
The happiest?
Only a little over 24 hours later, when she was able to talk me back from the brink and convince me things would be ok, and that I had what it takes to overcome my despair and become the person I want to be.
Where did you have a profound thought? What was it?
Laying on a partially inflated blow-up mattress on our friends' living room floor. Fun fact: I rarely think in words. An inner dialogue is pretty rare to non-existent for me, so instead of writing down what I was thinking, I need to draw a picture.
I pictured this, and then imagined what it would take to get that blue circle bumped up a little higher. Not thinking in words can cause difficulty in communicating with others who do. Case in point, I showed this to Chelsea and she remarked "I don't get what you're trying to say. Can you explain what you mean by this?" And I told her, and she said "Great, I get it now. Can you write that out so other people can understand too?" So here's the caption for all you word people out there:
Great partners and merely acceptable partners have quite a bit in common, but obviously the Exceptional Partner goes above and beyond the basic minimums of the Adequate. Unfortunately, my natural instincts and decisions that work great for me don't necessarily have a lot in common with either, so I have to make a change in my thinking and actions if I want to be a better partner, not just do what feels normal.
How have you not killed each other yet?
We talk it out. We don't let problems fester anymore. Talking is not always the solution; sometimes I just have to walk around the block and cool down, but talking is always part of the solution. Or rather, communication is. If a picture is 1000 words, an embrace can be more.
As you can see, we've already learned a ton from the realities that we've faced on the road and how they measure up to our expectations. We don't keep this stuff from our readers on purpose in our blogs, it just seems out of place in the posts about what we're up to, hence why we felt compelled to share some of our insights thus far. We'd love to hear from you if you want to ask us about anything that we talked about here, want clarification on an answer, or if you've got a question you want to ask us but that we didn't cover here. Please email us, text us, message us on Facebook, send us a smoke signal, we'd love to hear what you think about what we're writing!